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At my workplace, I could sense very readily who has travelled a lot and who has not. Even in those who have travelled, I am able to observe the differences between those who travelled a lot within urban spaces and those who have experienced significantly different cultures.

The one trait that stands out is they often turn up to learning situations with an empty cup. Well travelled people accept that there are multiple normals and multiple ways of living and doing things, this primes them to question status quo, accept new ideas and also handle new situations with a calmness that is infectious. They are also very comfortable about who they are and often found not wanting to impress others.

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These are the common top traits that I have seen that makes them stand out

  • Learning mindset
  • Ability to read the room even when people are not speaking
  • Ready to experience a wide range of cuisines, they are not picky.
    • In general they become less polarised in almost all subjects
  • Conversation starters, often able to connect with anyone on any topic and build stories
  • Sense of calmness and composure even in very new situations

A bonus that amplifies the above traits are having worked in offices across different locations both within the country and outside. When working in a new location, you have to very quickly blend in to be part of the team by adapting to local culture of that place. Our work is a team sport, the more people you meet in individual or team setting the more you become a good team player who stands out at work.

Always look for the experience that is going to frequently put you into new people situations either as a form of leisure travel or official travel. See the magic of how fast are you able to grow as a person.

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A lot of have been talked about stress at the workplace, those are visible and bold like toxic managers, unrealistic deadlines etc. A very few people speak about silent stressors that are very much invisible but damages more in the long run as very less is done to eliminate them. When I had begun working, hardware was very expensive. In some companies they used to use the machine across multiple people in shifts. I got a machine assigned to me and over the course of 4+ years it was never replaced. It was impossible to run an IDE so I had to rely on text editors to code. What this meant is a constant loop of editing code, going to the console to compile and come back to figure out errors in the editor by comparing compiler outputs. The days just dragged on in endless loops.

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One of the other types of stressors were unplanned working days. At the hands of a novice manager, days get difficult to plan. Developers need unbroken time and reduced ambiguity, but constant interruptions and ambiguity feels like a constant droning in your head. Detachment from family and social life, this stressor builds up slowly and is a secondary stressor often a result of other ones. In my younger days, I have missed many of my friends’ weddings, found it difficult to be at the side sick parents/grand parents at home town and slowly the immediate circle is only acquaintances from the office which is a deep echo chamber.

Identifying these stressors early is a key to good mental and physical health. I did not realise this for a long time, once I figured out and eliminated it then it improved my quality of life. Ask these simple questions, a single no requires you to reconsider what you are doing?

  1. Are you able to finish your work week within ~40 hour window and still find it fulfilling/ having a sense of achievement/ being recognised? (Some lean weeks and some tight weeks will be fine, but the average should be around 40)
  2. Do you find time for friends and family?
  3. Are you able to eat, sleep and exercise well?
  4. Do you like going to your office, is your 1 way commute less than 30 minutes or if it exceeds do you have a commute routine that is engaging (like reading, audio books, podcasts or simply enjoy the drive)

Ask yourself these questions? Find out the root silent stressor and figure out a way to eliminate it. The stressor could be anything from poor hardware, bad planning, noisy environment, gossip culture, poor management, tough competition etc. Don’t cope up with any kind of stress, just remove it.

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I come across people in the spectrum of extremely laid back to extremely driven. Laid back ones or happy me go lucky ones have a strong belief in destiny and are often victim of systems. The driving factor for them is that there is very little one can influence on what is about to happen to them. On the other hand, people with an extreme drive try to keep altering every aspect of what they do to control their destiny leading to a high anxiety state. You can read more in detail about it here on what is locus of control.

What is the healthy state to be in? It is not the middle path, it is towards the internal sense of control that is desired but not on the extreme end. Kids in the initial days have an external sense of control, the sense of control gets more and more internalised as their learning horizon expands and they begin to understand cause and effect very well. This is not a inborn trait, our environment around us and self reflections will shape our sense of control.

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Environment shapes how an individual’s locus of control is established. A workplace that is toxic, promotes favouritism, has tight command and control will eventually prime the individuals to adopt an external locus of control. They become less engaged, more laid back and often make poor choices which slowly bleeds into their personal life as well.

It is crucial that a workplace promotes psychological safety if they need individuals to develop a healthy locus of control. Individuals should also understand that complete control is impossible and should develop the mindset to accept things that cannot be controlled, which will result is less anxiety and move on to next set of challenges.