One of my mentors, pointed out that I was gritty in making things happen but I should also watch out for willpower depletion as time flies by. That is the time he got me into systems thinking, every decision that we take in a day causes an imbalance and a build up of that causes decision fatigue.

I have written many times about this topic of habits vs goals. The reason I chose this today is because I complete 15 years streak of writing at least one blog post a month. Initially I started with a goal of 50 blogs a year, I achieved it but the learning was, it was super draining the moment I hit that milestone, it looked like I am pulling back the throttle. Why did I want to write so many blogs? I wanted to improve my articulation, I wanted to expose my knowledge to the outside world, I also wanted it to be a snapshot of my mind at that point of time. From my mentor’s inputs, I changed my mind from a big goal based mindset to a systems based mindset. I went to a sustainable streak with a micro goal of a blog a month instead of x blogs a year.

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I was able to apply this to a lot of other areas at work and life; especially when the change is transformative, it looks daunting and takes a heroic effort to get there. Mentor, coaches, veterans were the key people to help me break down big goals into systems and habits. A very good example was when I turned 30, I was going down the path of abdominal obesity, I gained 3 sizes very rapidly. I tried doing many things like swimming, walking and nothing worked. No amount of reading up and trying different things turned useful. I ended up talking to a sports physio who drew a plan not for the goal of getting to normal BMI and waist but healthy eating and regular exercise.

He told me, that I will regress and go back to my old ways if I just workout heavily and bring things back to normal. A diet plan consisting of normal south indian non veg food, with occasional allowances of indulgence. The dietician told me that your willpower will get exhausted if you don’t treat yourselves sometimes so take a decision like “I will eat only one dessert a week”. Also the dietician ingrained one strong message – “You cannot outrun a bad diet with heavy exercise”. The change in habits took a month or so but I have been able to keep up the right BMI and waist size for years now.

If you are pursuing something big, always get some help from a veteran in that field and break it down to small sustainable habits instead of taking a resolution and going towards it from the word get go. Always remember that will power fades away, reduce decisions to be taken and convert them to habits.

It is very hard to move from one social class to another unless there is a big low probability windfall that happens. Especially moving away from poverty to a middle class life is extremely difficult. Poverty traps like poor health, bad nutrition and inadequate education can create a self-reinforcing cycle that will keep sustaining. While poverty was very evident before with visible signs like clothing, upkeep, housing, food etc; neo poverty is not very evident.

There is no proper definition of neo poverty. But the concept is the same as poverty, it is very hard to move up from a position. People look successful from the outside but they are hustling in a dead end job. When it comes to software development, there was a natural progression of doing one’s job every day and gaining skills to become a senior, lead, architect, chief architect without much deliberate effort. The reason was that people were able to upskill themselves easily. Complexity of work, quantum of workload, learning horizon were manageable enough to upskill and move ahead.

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Work became increasingly complex in software engineering. What looked like a natural progression is no longer easily feasible. Just like how a nurse cannot become a doctor just by working in the hospital, unless pursues a degree outside of working hours to become a doctor; same is becoming true for software engineers. The increasing demand of longer working works and hustle culture has forced people to repetitively do the same things again and again without the progress that was once possible.

This perpetual cycle of getting stuck in one position is one of the neo poverty situations we have. It looks rewarding in the short term when we comply with neo poverty traps like 996, but it ruins the chances for pause, rest, reflect and upskill. Ask yourselves if you are stuck in a loop of doing the same things over and over, then you have to be deliberate to alleviate yourself from neo poverty.

When I once dined at my college hostel, one weird behaviour stood out. People will hurriedly eat their fried eggs right off the skillet from the live counter, sometimes sustaining burns in the mouth. It did not make sense for me until I witnessed a bully stealing the fried egg from another person’s plate while he was waiting for it to cool down. The food was billed in such a way that people have to pay extra for egg and non veg food, being students; every rupee saved is every rupee earned. So some students always bullied others by taking what is not theirs. To prevent this slowly a lot of people started eating it very hot off the skillet without enjoying their meal. This is Nash equilibrium, no one person alone can alter their behaviour to a pleasant one unless the entire group changes it.

A more simpler example, when in a concert if every one else is standing then there is no use to comfortably sit down and enjoy the concert unless every one else sits down. Standing gives a better view, at the expense of others and eventually every one stands up if not fixed earlier. In the prisoner’s dilemma defecting being the best choice unless both decide to co-operate together.

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How does this relate to at the workplace?

Many workplaces I have visited, I noticed there exists a hero/heroine culture. There would be a few people who were regarded as doing exceptional work; typically they stay very long hours, always available on call, too often will come up with shortcuts to get the job done. The rewards were also proportional, those who played hero/heroine often get rewarded with promotions and hikes which was sizeable compared to the rest who did not play that game. Eventually everyone in the team followed suit; arrived early, stayed late, became more greedy with credits, self-centered in a team setting.

This spirals quickly into a toxic culture and it is not possible for one person to fix without the rest acknowledging and agreeing to fix it. Whoever deviates from it, will soon face the brunt for not complying with the group. This equilibrium has terrible outcomes. It is stable, often detrimental to health leading to burnouts. Unless the leadership takes an action to fix this problem, it will remain stable for a long time. Too often, leadership would have emerged from this culture, making it self propagating.

Some of the leaders whom I interacted with were able to put a stop to it with simple measures. Rules like no calls scheduled after 7PM and before 9 AM local time worked wonders by forcing a lot to work within a time window. One of the leaders went to an extent to revisit this every fortnight at the retrospective to make sure collective growth and well being exists. Unless a sizeable group of individuals or a leader comes up and disrupts, it is very hard to get out of this equilibrium. If you spot this in your teams, try to break the chain and bring it to a better state. No change can be worse than staying at this state.