Often in discussions at work especially in ambiguous situations, I hear people start with the phrase ‘Correct me if I am wrong’ or similar phrases like ‘This is just my understanding’, ‘I could be wrong here but’ etc.

People’s judgemental abilities are affected a lot by their acquired knowledge and application of their ability(there are 8 types of it), their experience in the field, depth in the language the conversation is going on. If we put 5 people with different backgrounds and experience in an ambiguous situation and feed them with a lot of data, chances are 100%  that each of them will interpret the situation and information to be different.

So there is always a chance that people will disagree with each other’s opinions and when they respond negatively it is never on a person however the tone is, but it is on the idea. Most of the people do not realise this and think this as a confrontation that they must face which is very stressful, so they express their opinions with the starting phrase ‘Correct me if I am wrong’ to be safe when there is a disagreement.

Everything we say is our opinion which is shaped by our experience, abilities and the situation we are in. It won’t be concrete and will change when presented with the facts or perspectives. Carl Sagan expresses this in his book Cosmos where he says scientific community is built of opinions and humility. That is how the community advances, by embracing new proofs and discard their pet theories.

If you are in a situation where people are often using disclaimers, what all could you do?

• Make sure your tone of response is right and make it clear that the conversations are always about ideas not directed to the individual.
• Express the discomfort in people using disclaimers for expressing their opinions and set a safe conversation space.
• Stop using disclaimers in your conversations which some people may try to follow.

Help to co-ordinate the different minds to speak up and take advantage of the collective intelligence which is always better than the sharpest individual in the group.

Steve Blank in his commencement speech at Philadelphia university mentioned that opportunities surface to people who are forever curious, show up a lot and treat failure as a learning experience. Not very long ago, it was very easy to get a bunch of people at workplace and get something done. Be it a music interest group, gaming or tech learnings; it was easy for people to look for what is going on around and show up.

Many workplace friendships were born, mentors and mentees found each other and it contributed to an overall well being of the place when people signed up and showed up for things happening around them. The increased urban congestion and the resultant commute plus ubiquitous smart phone distractions contribute to a large share for people losing interest in a lot of things. Getting people interested in something that helps growth is getting increasingly difficult.

Curiosity and showing up to do new things is a valuable trait that everyone has to retain or cultivate. This is what many people have written about getting out of the comfort zone, right now we seek comfort more often and in pockets because of the increase in the difficulty of living a day in urban areas. There is no feeling of enough comfort received that our body and mind refuses to come out of it, such that even showing up for work the next day becomes too difficult.

We are inherently curious, watch a baby explore new surroundings, you will know how curious we were in our early years. That curiosity has transformed into something very trivial over the course of the years to find only simple entertainment which gives an illusion that life is interesting. It is not the lack of attention span which many are claiming unanimously that is on a dwindle, there are people who claim poor attention span but can binge watch ‘Game of thrones’ or play video games for hours together.

The serendipity factor is very underrated, many good things happen by accident meeting a prepared mind. Make sure to plan your urban life such that it does not drain you, don’t compromise on eating well and resting (read sleeping) well;  once that is taken care chances are low that you will feel out of energy in a day. Try showing up at places, ditch that comfort zone or fear of new; see the impact over long time.